What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

Do you know what she said mum?

What do you mean son?

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My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

How is it that a computer can generate a captcha but not solve it?

Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

True - how I loved my mum!

What! how could you do that?

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About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

For those who were actually old enough to have experienced the 1970s and not for those who were born in the 70s. What were the pros and cons of that era?

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

If people in the UK hate Trump so much, why does he own golf courses there?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?